I used to let my fear decide my future – but that all ended 5 years ago!
Allowing my fear to predict my future meant I was always conforming!
Conforming to the standard way of doing things
Doing what everyone else was doing
Doing what needed to be done to fit in, for fear of being different, standing out, or looking silly
Refusing to risk the ordinary for the extraordinary, through fear of what people might think
As Google would say; “choosing behaviour in accordance with socially accepted conventions”
Conformity is suffocating. Conformity keeps us in jobs, relationships and situations we don’t want to be in far longer than we should, because we feel the pressure to do the same thing that everyone else is doing.
One of the biggest ways that we all learn to conform is by working a job, selling our time for money, helping to make someone else (but not ourselves) rich, and helping to build someone else’s dreams, while we let our own dreams gradually wither and die in the process!
We don’t do it because we want to do it. We do it because everyone else is doing it. We do it because we think we have to do it. We do it because we think we don’t have any other choice. We do it because we’ve been taught to do it, and we don’t know how or what to do differently.
That all ended for me 5 years ago!
The pandemic and potential redundancy changed everything.
Now, I’ve learned how to not conform and I’m so glad I actively make that choice every day
AND, I’m so proud of myself!
In the whole of my working life until 2020, all I had succeeded in doing was following the crowd, taking my place in the system, earning a wage, paying the bills and honestly just wondering if this really was all there is to life!?
But then I made the decision to change….and everything has changed since then!
In the last 5 years, since I stopped letting my fear make me conform, here’s what I’ve achieved;
- Set up and become Director of my own Limited Company
- Started 2 of my own businesses – with my own creative ideas – from scratch
- Purchased and now manage a portfolio of Buy-To-Let properties
- Written a book – that i will publish next year – with plans to write 3 more books too
- I’ve been volunteering at the RSPCA most weeks
- I’ve built not just 1 but 2 business partnerships with prestigious companies, who I am proud to work alongside as a self-employed representative
- Created group coaching programmes which I’ve delivered to groups of adult learners through a local charity and my local college
- Launched and now manage an Air BnB accommodation
- Recorded and published series one of my very own podcast
- Oh, and I’ve moved house, TWICE!
AND probably my best achievement
- I’ve created a self-care routine that I am immensely proud of. This is a holistic routine that cares for my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing.
I’ve learned in the last 5 years that looking after yourself isn’t selfish, it’s essential to being able to show up the way you truly want to show up in every area of your life. I feel better, happier, fitter, healthier and more alive than I’ve ever felt!
This self-care routine has been monumental in helping me do that. It also demonstrates to my daughter that taking care of yourself is vitally important. And there is nothing more important than letting our kids see us modelling what good looks like when it comes to looking after yourself.
I honestly believe this self-care routine underpins ALL my other achievements i.e they wouldn’t have happened without this being in place.
All of this has enabled me to focus on creating multiple streams of passive and residual income that offer us as a family such incredible peace of mind.
This passive and residual income that I’ve worked so hard to create now means that I have the same amount of money coming in each month that I used to earn in my corporate job – except now it’s coming in whether I work or not!
I have created a reality where I am no longer tied to a job, an employer or a situation that I no longer want to be in, because I’ve taken control of my earnings. I no longer have to exchange my time for money by constantly showing up to work for a paycheck (in a job or company that I don’t even like). And that feels incredible, for me personally and for us as a family.
Now, I can focus my time on being the mum I want to be, the wife I want to be, and on continuing to add additional streams of income that continue to increase our sense of financial security. And, now, I can spend my time paying forward what I’ve learned by educating people about passive income and showing them how they can create it too.
I’m not sharing this to brag. I’m sharing it to show what’s possible if you are willing to step out of the ordinary, face your fears head on, and decide to carry on regardless, to create the extraordinary!
Along the way, I’ve repeatedly dealt with – and continue to deal with;
- Fear of rejection
- Fear of failure
- Fear of what people might think
- Fear of success (yes, that’s a real thing)
- Other people’s fear about the ‘risks’ I am taking and how it might not work out (lots of naysayers, dreamstealers and well-meaning people who’ve warned me against doing these things, out of their own fear or judgement that I’m stepping out of the ‘norm’)
But, I have persevered – I haven’t given up!
I might have changed directions a few times but I’ve never quit!
I’ve invested time and money in my personal growth and development, taking time to understand what I need to know, to be the person I want to be, to achieve all these things I want to achieve. To learn about the person I need to become in order to truly allow myself to follow my dreams, rather than continue to be the kind of person that holds myself back and stagnates out of fear. I also have several virtual mentors who walk alongside me every day, supporting me, encouraging me and cheering me on.
Along the way, I’ve built up my resilience, my confidence, my self-esteem and self-belief, my tenacity, my determination, my courage and I’ve become my own cheerleader – especially when it felt like no-one else was cheering me on.
I’ve been willing to be vulnerable – to try without knowing if I’d succeed or fail – over and over again – and I’m proud of my courage.
I’ve done all this whilst working a part-time job and raising my daughter – who is my biggest inspiration! She inspires me everyday to show her that there is a better way and that I’m willing to persevere until I succeed, so that I can illuminate the path for her too – the path from ordinary to extraordinary. Because she deserves it!
And, in case you’re wondering; life hasn’t been all roses in those 5 years either. As a family we’ve faced some tough times, including my mum being diagnosed with breast cancer, undergoing treatment and now continuing to live with the long-term and debilitating side-effects of those treatments.
We’ve also been supporting my daughter through her experiences with mean-spirited people at school, as well as her transition from primary to secondary school. To name just a few…..
The point is, I haven’t achieved all these things because life has been easy for me….I’ve achieved all these things in spite of the challenges life has thrown at us.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned is this;
It doesn’t require one giant leap.
It doesn’t require massive overhaul.
It doesn’t require an immediate overnight change of direction.
It certainly doesn’t mean perpetually waiting until the ‘right time’, because the time will never be right.
It just requires the willingness to take a very small first step…..and then figuring it out from there, one step at a time.
There will always be something that you can use as an excuse not to start….but, you must turn that excuse into the reason why you are going to start!
Not enough time? – make that your reason to do it, because you want more time
Not enough money? – make that your reason to do it, so you can earn more money
Not skilled enough? – make that your reason to do it, so you become more skilled
Not confident enough? – make that your reason to do, so that you become more confident
5 years ago, if someone had said to me that this is where I’d be in 5 years time, I wouldn’t have believed them. I couldn’t possibly have imagined how I would achieve all those things, never mind in such a relatively short space of time.
But, I didn’t achieve them all overnight. I just made the decision to quit with my excuses, make them my reason why I would, and just start!
This isn’t an EITHER/OR thing.
I haven’t made big sacrifices along the way (although I have made lots of small changes along the way, which is an important difference).
It’s a BOTH/AND thing!
You can start where you are, with what you’ve got and continue doing what you’re doing at the same time.
I’ve just been willing to be consistent, do a little bit regularly, until over time those little bits have compounded into big changes that I couldn’t ever have believed possible.
I’ve learned that you can succeed if you’re willing to look your fears in the eye and say “I’m going to do this anyway”.
And, if I can do it, then SO CAN YOU.
Now, my fear is my friend (although we do disagree from time to time, but that’s normal, isn’t it).
Feeling scared is how I know that I’m outside my comfort zone, and making progress.
It’s how I know I’m growing and evolving.
And life is about growth isn’t it.
Nobody was put on this planet just to stagnate. Growth is why we’re here.
Choosing non-conformity is the best choice I ever made.
The future is brighter and – ironically – much less scary because 5 years ago I chose not to let fear predict my future by holding me back from the things I wanted to do.
I chose not to let it keep me trapped in places I didn’t want to be. Trapped in conformity.
Now I create my own future and that feels pretty damn awesome!
And, it doesn’t stop here either, there is no stopping this momentum….the next 5 years are full of even bigger dreams and I can’t wait to make them happen.
They include writing and publishing more books, and building our residual income to the point that we can give my hubby choices about what work he wants to do and how many hours a week he works. Our first step is for him to reduce to 4 days a week, so he can spend more time doing things he enjoys doing, instead of just working….and then see where we go from there!
Oh, and I’ve also got some pretty big trips planned! I love travelling and there are so many places that I want to see in the world, and tick them off my bucket list.
I’m not doing all this just for the money or so I can buy more ‘stuff’. I’m doing it so that I can follow my dreams, enjoy more time with the people I love most, create more memories, fill up my photo album, spend time on my hobbies without feeling guilty, and enjoy this fleeting, precious life doing more than just working for money.
I’m doing it to show my daughter that there is so much more to life than just that!
If you’re ready to do the same – take control of your life, stop conforming and start following your dreams – let me show you a small, simple first step to getting started.
Karolyn 💛💜💚🩷
